diecastAUDIO

I have been collecting for almost 30 years, and over that time I have seen many trends and many collectors come and go. I have been in and out of relationships throughout my collecting history and have come to notice a few things about how women react to die-cast collecting. Now I know there are some wives/girlfriends/partners/significant others who buck the trends about what I am writing about or even collect themselves and that’s great; more power to them and their collecting partners. But, more often than not I have seen many a collector fall by the wayside and fade away into oblivion.

With that being said; the below timeline of a “collection” relationship is meant to be humorous but also to teach what might come to be. You’ll see some references that everyone may not get, and I only use the generic HE and SHE titles to personify the most common relationship in the die-cast collecting world. As I mentioned before, there are many other relationship partners who face the collecting world together and maybe can see themselves in the below situations.

Stage 1: The “No need for concern; we just met” stage.

HE: Sugar-coats his collecting, Downplays cars on home walls, and says “I used to have these when I was a kid”

SHE: Ooh…that’s…different?! How…sweet?!”

Reality: You just began to date. SHE already has concerns but SHE doesn’t yet understand you let alone the beauty [and the obsession] that is collecting die-cast. HE is still safe.

Stage 2: Still together; “Getting to know you; getting to know all about you.”

HE: “My spell must be working” [Accompanied by hand wringing and an to look for cars too.” evil laugh and/or mustache twist]

SHE: “If it means HE’ll go shopping, OK I’ll stop

Reality: This is where SHE is beginning to let her guard down and the naïveté begins. SHE thinks its great HE likes to shop! But; SHE is still wondering why HE has to hit the toy department first as soon as you enter the store. “What’s the rush?” SHE thinks. Poor thing!

Stage 3: Die-cast 101

HE: “Wow; SHE’s pretty cool

SHE: ”I really like HE so I guess this is something with this; I’m in the clear” we could do together.”

Reality: SHE begins to want to know more…HE to SHE; “Honey when you’re in Target without me just look for the [little green strip, green tires, white tires etc etc]; that would really be great!” SHE actively seeks out die-cast related gifts for HE. HE begins to feel like the master from TV’s KUNG-FU; “Try to snatch the treasure hunt from this rack.”

Stage 4: Understanding the Lingo; “OOH The needle…and the spoon, take a trip…‘round the moon.”

HE: “I’ve got her now, SHE’s hooked!”

SHE: Begins to understand what [REDLINES, HUNTS, WHITE LIGHTNING, GREEN MACHINES] are.

Reality: SHE hunts and picks up this stuff so SHE can have more conversations with HE and HE actually pays attention. SHE may even find her first Chase/Hunt piece, which really seals the deal! HE loves all the attention from SHE regarding his hobby. HE feels the student has graduated to the next level.

Stage 5: Getting to know the Natives!

“There is a red one who wont accept the white one who wont help the blue one.”

HE: I guess it’s time to show SHE that these people I talk about are real.

SHE…has mild concern after meeting the other collectors in the area, but thinks; “HE isn’t like them!”

Reality: HE introduces SHE to the other “collectors” at a local show or store. SHE notices that once HE and SHE are back in the car HE turns and says “OK, Greg is a scalper, Peter is a runner, and Bobby collects Star Wars so no worries about him.” SHE also learns the nicknames for the others. She also wonders why there aren’t many other women! By now HE and SHE are either engaged or just married. If HE and SHE share a home; a die-cast corner begins to develop.

Stage 6: Active partner; “So Happy Together”

HE: “This is fun with SHE!”

SHE: “This is fun with HE!” But in the back of SHE’s mind she thinks; “I can’t believe that there are this many other collectors like HE?”

Reality: You continue to attend local shows and maybe your first “AWAY” event together. You both have fun. SHE meets some nice people [the ones HE wants her to meet] and SHE sees that there are actually other women around. SHE thinks “This isn’t so bad!” SHE may even begin to form her own nicknames for people other than yours. The die-cast corner begins to develop into a die-cast room.

Stage 7: Complete immersion/involvement

HE: “WOW, This is still fun with SHE; SHE is still having fun!”

SHE: “This is fun; I like doing this with HE.” “Am I having fun?” “Yes…[thinks a little]…yes; I am having fun.” “Is there shopping near here”…“We should have rented a car!”

Reality: You visit more “AWAY” shows together.

GOOD: SHE actually begins to be able to hold her own with other collectors and collecting in general. BAD: She actually gets to see the real scope of who collects this stuff and it’s a bit frightening. SHE also accidentally meets some members of the DWA: DIECAST WIDOW”S ASSOCIATION. This isn’t good; a diversion is needed; “Hey SHE; have you met Hans; he’s from Belgium!” Die-cast room becomes more ornate.

Stage 8: Initial pullback; Separate worlds

HE: “Wow even though we are married/have a kid; I can still goes to shows/conventions”

SHE: “At least it gets him out of the house.”

Reality: SHE doesn’t go to conventions/shows anymore. SHE shops with HE only when the baby needs diapers or clothes but SHE is still interested in any good finds you get. But SHE is still happy he has something HE likes. HE promises to actually shop for other things when HE hits the stores; thinks that helps his cause. Die-cast room becomes less ornate some cars are put away “so the baby won’t get them.” Yeah, that’s it.

Stage 9: Tensions mount; “PRESSURE…Pushing down on me, pushing down on you”

HE: BLAH BLAH BLAH;”I still get to go; right?”

SHE: ”You get to go if I get to…”

Reality: Cracks in SHE’s die-cast love begin to show. The kid[s] are now a little older or you’ve been blessed with more. SHE’s interest in your finds lessens to an “UH HUH”. Money spent is all of a sudden is a concern. Plus there’s concern over that the big basket of cars for the kids is growing, even though they are girls or can’t even sit up. Die-cast room becomes a die-cast corner again.

Stage 10: Utter disdain. Cracks in SHE’s diecast love are now Grand Canyon chasms.

“I feel the earth move under my feet; I feel the sky tumbling down”

HE: It’s my hobby and I’ll collect if I want to.”

SHE: …ICY STARE

Reality: HE is losing the battle at this point but doesn’t realize it. HE thinks when SHE leaves the room during a die-cast related phone call at home that she is just giving HE privacy. HE notices SHE’s complete lack of interest in his finds but thinks SHE’s busy with the kids. Die-cast corner becomes a shelf in the garage.

Stage 11: Battle lines are drawn: It’s the cars or ME/US

HE: either…. a] realizes to pull back or b] charges full steam ahead

SHE: either…. a] charges full steam ahead or b] realizes to pull back

Reality: What do you think happens? There’s no shame, let it out! Go to your happy place!

“To everything TURN, TURN, TURN, there is a season TURN, TURN, TURN.”

Stage 12: DING! FRIES ARE DONE!

It’s pretty self explanatory. No need to throw salt in anyone’s wound. HE is just happy because HE gets to keep what HE still has. The die-cast shelf is getting really dusty.

But don’t worry, because like the legendary Phoenix, there is…

Stage 13: Collecting 201! “A white lightning amongst the ashes.”

Yes, in this case #13 is lucky because things usually do and will swing back in HE’s favor if both HE and SHE are willing to come to a compromise. It takes a little time so just be patient; good things do come to those who wait. There’s always give and take in every relationship, no matter what the reason; you just have to find the right balance to make things work.

For those of you in a relationship and are/were unaffected by ANY of these tribulations at ANYTIME; good for you and again more power to you! But trust me, you are the minority; whether you believe it or not.

For those of you who recognize if any of these symptoms are happening [or might happen] but thought it was only happening to you; you are not alone; you may still be able to change things for the better. It has been said that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

For those of you this has already happened to; all I can say is sorry. There is no judging here; just understanding and realization that #@&% can happen to anyone at anytime for any reason. No one is immune!

I have been lucky to have a very understanding wife. Being out of work for 3 out of the last 8 years had put a strain on my collecting and my wife’s attitude towards it but she still realized what it means to me and has at least encouraged me to keep collecting but modify the way I collect. In that sense I am a realist not an idealist. Some cars are better than none. One or Two “away” trips a year as opposed to none is even better. I still look, I still buy cars and talk about them and she listens and chimes in once in a while. She’s happy to look when I come home with a nice convention piece, RAOK, or a one-off custom. [Shout out to my best bud Bryan Pope!] She even looks for Treasure Hunts if I am not at the store with her. I have never shied away from the fact that I have changed as a collector over the years; and I know it is for the better.

You can take what you want from my relationship versus collecting timeline, ignore it, or just have a laugh. That’s what life should always boil down to: having a good laugh every once in a while. LIVE to COLLECT; COLLECT to LIVE is a motto best served to the insane or very rich. LIVE to LOVE; LOVE to COLLECT is a motto best served to everyone who loves little cars.

As always, let me know what you think. Let it all out, I can take it.

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