The Night Before K-Days

By Jeff Glasson • March 2, 2007

Poster RetiredNavyVet over on DIECASTLIVE.COM shares this great “collectors version” of the The Night Before Christmas which was written by his wife’s uncle. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

The Night Before K-Days
‘Twas the night before K-Days, when all through the home
Not a creature was stirring, not even a gnome;
The cards were hung on the wall with care,
In hopes that some new cars soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
If they touch my Hotwheels I will bonk their heads;
And mom in her pajamas, and I in socked feet,
Had just settled down trying to sleep,
When out on the lawn there arose such a noise,
I sprang from the bed to see if it was the boys.
Away to the dresser I flew like a flash,
checked to make sure I still had my cash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
made me wonder if it was time to go,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But my scalper neighbor checking his gear,
He’s a little old scalper, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment that he was too slick.
More rapid than kids and knowing no shame,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called Hotwheels by name;
“MY, Corvette! MY, Nova! MY, Deora and Flash side!
MY, Chevelle! MY Roadster! MY, Cobra and others I hide!
To the top of the end cap! to the top of the pegs!
I will get them all being fast on my legs!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
He backed out of his drive and waved to me “bye”,
So out to the garage to my car I flew,
Knowing that I would grab some good cars too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the back
The sound of my rear tire going all flat.
As I drew up my fist, and was changing the wheel,
My neighbor,the Scalper, I wanted to kill.
He was dressed in his T-shirt, Old shoes on his feet,
I had to hurry to the store so him I could beat;
A box full of Hotwheels he had in his trunk,
And he upped all his prices with greed like a skunk.
His eyes — they were bloodshot! his breath how smelly!
His cheeks were unshaven, his arms were all hairy!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a snurl,
And as I looked at him I wanted to hurl;
The stump of a pen he held tight in his teeth,
And the list we marked off on was detailed indeed;
He had a broad face and a big ol’ round belly,
That shook, when he ran like a ziplock of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right crazy old fart,
And I growled when I saw him, He had rocks in his heart;
A wink of his eye a twist of his fat can,
He grabbed a T-hunt from a young boys hand;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And grabbed all the good cars; then turned with a jerk,
And listening to him he did say,
This car will bring me big bucks on the ‘Bay;
He sprang to his car, to us all gave a finger,
And away he did drive,no use to linger.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“I got all the good stuff from the stocker last night !”